Posted by: Jerry Garrett | April 7, 2010

Passengers Pissed About Ryanair Toilet Fee

Ryanair is advising its passengers to travel "light"

Ryanair is once again leading the airline industry – this time into the toilet.

No, that’s not a metaphor for air travel in general, although some would argue the whole industry is – and deserves to be – circling the bowl.

In what is perhaps the ultimate “pay as you go” scheme, the European discount air carrier says it plans to charge passengers for using a toilet during the flight.

A Ryanair official tells London’s Daily Mail, “By charging for the toilets we are hoping to change passenger behavior so that they use the bathroom before or after the flight.”

Presumably, this will lighten the entire aircraft, making for speedier flights, and burning less jet fuel?

Uh, no, actually the main reason is to cram in more seats on its Boeing 737s: “That will enable us to remove two out of three of the toilets and make way for at least six extra seats,” said another Ryanair spokesman.

One toilet on a plane for 189 passengers? How will that play with the traveling public? The charge would be about one euro, or one British pound ($1.30-$1.55) – a fee high enough to warrant an on-the-fly, so to speak, cost-benefit analysis before heading to the crapper.

Exact change, please!

The airline isn’t saying if fees or fines will be assessed to passengers who attempt to avoid the fee by relieving themselves in their seats, aisles or galleys.

There is currently no “right to pee or poop” specified in various Airline Passenger Bill of Rights documents. This unsettling news comes just one day after Spirit Airlines announced it would charge $20-$45 per piece for most carry-on baggage; Jet Blue countered that by suggesting passengers consider “wearable luggage” such as a travel vest. (Note: If airlines then counter-attack by charging for articles of clothing, perhaps passengers could react by traveling nude. That would certainly speed up TSA screening. -Ed.)

Ryanair has apparently shelved, pending further study, a two-tier toilet pricing fee for a No. 1 or a No. 2.

Jerry Garrett

April 7, 2010

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Responses

  1. I guess if Ryanair is going to have calendar art like that it is only fitting they are hoisted on their own petard.

    As to their policy of charging for bathroom use during flights, they should have their head examined.

  2. A number of years ago, I had the immense pleasure to fly on the Belarus State airline, Belavia. The locals called it Smellavia because of the distinct and immediately recognizable odor emanating from the seats in the TU134. Seems that the seats are more convenient than the heads. So, maybe Ryan Air should eliminate all heads and let the passengers pee in their seats. By the way, the cabin service on Belavia was vodka — go figure!

    • A lovely story! Thanks for sharing. Reminds me of a small regional airline that flies between Zambia and South Africa. Oversold? Never. Just stand in the aisles like a bus, or sit in the toilets.

  3. […] The AP noted, “The biggest chunk of that came from checked baggage fees, which were introduced in 2008 when oil prices soared and eventutally reached $147 per barrel.” Of course, oil is no longer $147 a barrel, but the fees remain – and are growing daily, with recent announcements such as Spirit Airlines’ new carry-on baggage fees, non-reclining seats, and even pay toilets. […]


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